"For by grace you have been saved through faith;

and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God"

  (Ephesians 2:8 - emphasis mine)

I have always thought this verse was talking about the faith that God gives me to believe in him. 

My faith. 

But what if Paul is talking about God's faith? 

God's faith in me?

I believe, whether we find it here in Ephesians or not, that

Faith is not so much that 

I believe in God,

but that God believes in me.

God,

I am afraid to embrace who I have been, the worst that has happened to me and made me a part of who I am. I am running inside, from what might happen again some time, and losing touch with beauty and stillness, with my own soul.  Forgetting what I really want. Forgetting that Magic is real.

Please take me by the hand and lead me back to still waters and green pastures. Help me to accept that you turn the worst into my best ... that I might pass that on. That you stand guard at the gate to the sheepfold, rod and staff in hand.

I don't believe so much that you allowed this to happen -- filtered it through your love [is there a verse for that? I can't think of one.] Rather I  believe that you chose to walk through it with me ... all the darkness and pain ... your cloak around me keeping me warm.

Why do you, my child, extend the fruits of my Spirit to every living creature but yourself? Can you treat yourself, a being of infinite value, with

love ...
     joy ...
          peace...
               patience ...
                    kindness ...
                         goodness ...
                               ... and gentleness?

I know, you see your sins and weaknesses, you obsess on them and look at yourself through a clouded microscope.

But I do not.

I see you as you are meant to be, as I am creating you to be, as you really are (in the more true reality of eternity) clothed in white and reflecting my Light, glorious and beautiful.

Ask, seek to see yourself with my eyes. Then, and only then, will the eyes of your own soul be enlightened to see others the way they will be.

Dear One, Dear One,

"You are troubled and distracted by so many things, but only one thing is necessary." You don't need to prepare anything to come to me. You don't need to serve me. Come, sit here by me, and open the ears of your spirit, for I have much to tell you (Luke 10:38-41). Great and unsearchable secrets (Jer. 33:3), love, and encouragement ... challenges and even rebukes (Heb. 12:6-7). But the things I say will increase your faith, and your ability to love. Indeed, the things you hear from me create your faith, for faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ (Rom 10:17) . And that, my child, is all you need to find rest from your anxieties, distractions and fears.

Faith

Listening 

More faith 

More ability to hear

Fruit

Love

Rest 

All you need you will find here, next to me, listening to my words, and in the silence, listening to the beat of my heart with you head upon my breast.