Beloved Lord Jesus ...

I exhale, releasing all the things I treasure.  They rise like balloons, wafting weightlessly like countless rainbows against a clear blue sky. Each balloon a possession, a thing that I call mine. How I long for the delight of possessing nothing. Even you, my Lord will never be possessed. Yet I believe in the Imperishable Seed eternally buried in the deepest part of my heart. The Living Seed that is my deposit guaranteeing an eternal love affair with the One I love.

I also breathe up and out a few black balloons -- the hurts and lies that hold me captive -- releasing them into Your sky.  And I see your finger touching and bursting each one to fall away in tatters, leaving only a myriad of iridescent rainbows in Your care!

Don't fear my beloved one –
just abide
and listen.
You will hear me.
Period.

Love,
Jesus

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21 NIV84)

Holy Spirit, you are like a butterfly ... beautifully lingering and delighting, but taking flight at the grasp.

From (God bless you Lynn!!!) The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God

Quote from the book:

We listen and we are aware of … a sigh. And under the sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within that threatens a total disregard for the program we are living; it feels reckless, wild. Unsettled, we turn and walk quickly away, like a woman who feels more that she wants to when her eyes meet those of a man not her husband. ... Something calls to us through [suffering] and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty,and adventure. ... Discover your soul's deepest longing and ... embrace it as the most important part of your life.

My response:

Abba – Jesus – Holy Spirit –

Please embolden and empower me to embrace the longing  –  the vortex of hunger, need, and despair. It is only homesickness. Help me to fall into it and get lost in the freefall. For there I now know I will find Your arms, Your love, and Your heart – and my own.

I have been trying in my own self-effort to stop or control the hunger in order to stop overeating. This is exactly backwards!!! I need to glut myself on the black hole of need – hurl myself, abandon myself into the consumption of it. Throw every hindrance aside and pig out on God.