Beloved Lord Jesus ...
I exhale, releasing all the things I treasure. They rise like balloons, wafting weightlessly like countless rainbows against a clear blue sky. Each balloon a possession, a thing that I call mine. How I long for the delight of possessing nothing. Even you, my Lord will never be possessed. Yet I believe in the Imperishable Seed eternally buried in the deepest part of my heart. The Living Seed that is my deposit guaranteeing an eternal love affair with the One I love.
I also breathe up and out a few black balloons -- the hurts and lies that hold me captive -- releasing them into Your sky. And I see your finger touching and bursting each one to fall away in tatters, leaving only a myriad of iridescent rainbows in Your care!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
From (God bless you Lynn!!!) The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God
Quote from the book:
We listen and we are aware of … a sigh. And under the sigh is something dangerous, something that feels adulterous and disloyal to the religion we are serving. We sense a passion deep within that threatens a total disregard for the program we are living; it feels reckless, wild. Unsettled, we turn and walk quickly away, like a woman who feels more that she wants to when her eyes meet those of a man not her husband. ... Something calls to us through [suffering] and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty,and adventure. ... Discover your soul's deepest longing and ... embrace it as the most important part of your life.
My response:
Abba – Jesus – Holy Spirit –
Please embolden and empower me to embrace the longing – the vortex of hunger, need, and despair. It is only homesickness. Help me to fall into it and get lost in the freefall. For there I now know I will find Your arms, Your love, and Your heart – and my own.
I have been trying in my own self-effort to stop or control the hunger in order to stop overeating. This is exactly backwards!!! I need to glut myself on the black hole of need – hurl myself, abandon myself into the consumption of it. Throw every hindrance aside and pig out on God.
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